Losing It?

Just had a less than proud moment. This age (2 1/2) has been both very cute and extremely testing.  Pregnancy hormones probably didn't help much tonight either. EVERYTHING is a hassle, a compromise, making a "deal," a battle, you name it. And tonight I just lost my cool. Getting into jammies was on cue a huge battle, changing his mind on where to change his diaper and get into jammies, and which jammies he would wear. I've been practicing the Love and Logic technique but lately nothing has seemed to be working well. It could be that evenings are the worst because he's tired out from a long day and just not feeling capable of making a decision for himself. I don't know. I will give him the benefit of the doubt on that one but it's still completely maddening. So after negotiating the location and jammie of choice he still wouldn't commit to anything so I pinned him down to the couch with nearly all my body weight, pinned his ankles with one hand and fully forced his pj's on him. When I am done I walk away out of the room. I feel awful because he doesn't know how to let go of the control and cries so hard he loses all vocal sound. We then proceed to battle his nightly drink of milk. It takes a miracle these days to get him to do each and every step that he INSITS on doing himself: which cup to use, opening the fridge, getting the milk out, opening the carton, pouring it, closing the carton, putting it back in the fridge, who carries it to his room etc etc etc. M-A-D-D-E-N-I-N-G! Then on to the toothbrush and toothpaste ordeal. Then who can walk into his room first or get into his bed first. Then the book choice. Ugh. Tonight it was enough to make me cry.

I think I'm having that "last couple months remaining of only having one child" freakout before baby girl arrives. How I will deal with all of this with another baby in my arms or attempting to sleep in the other room, I have NO idea. I guess things with Owen may be more mellowed out by then. Let's hope.  There is such a fine parental balance required of compromise, giving choices and making other choices for him. Lately I have felt less than adequate at this parenting thing.

So that's all for now. Just needed to vent that one for the record books.