Here we are, 16 weeks, aka, 4 months. Wow, 4 months sounds much farther along than 16 weeks. I've continued to feel pretty good. I am able to do all my normal routines. Life is pretty smooth (knock on wood). I have another appointment later today. This time I've bought a list of questions, one being to confirm what Owen's position was during labor.
I watched 'More of The Business of Being Born' over the last weeks and it's got me wishing I would/could just go that route again. What I realized from Owen's labor was that I really liked being alone and with minimal people and distraction. I know that is not going to be the case with this birth. I like how I didn't have to worry about any sort of timeline when I was laboring to get to 10cm. As a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarian) I'm worried that at the hospital will be set on a timer and will be constantly given 'checkpoints' at which my progress will have to meet or exceed before they say I must go in for another C-Section. I'm going to take the next months before this baby arrives to decide the best way to advocate for myself and what I ultimately want. So far, I think one of those options could be for Ashton to be the one who discusses progress with the Dr.'s and tells them what I am wanting/needing instead of me having to hear from them every x minutes/hours about my progress and what it means for me. Or maybe I can try and labor at home for the longest possible amount of time, like last time. How much will my labor stall during my ride to the hospital, check-in, & monitor hook-up? I certainly would hope for a chance for labor to naturally get going again. Or maybe I should get a doula who has good rapport with the hospital staff.
We get to find out the gender on Feb 11. I'm soooo excited this time. I cannot wait. I have very neutral feelings this time around about what the gender could be. Last time, in the back of my mind, I always knew there was a strong sense of a boy, even though no one thought we were having a boy, except Amy I think. This time I feel less of a pull either way.... This baby in some way feels very much the same as Owen did, and in other respects (mostly internally) feels different. In less than a month, we will know.
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I had my appt earlier today. Met a great OB, Dr. Dowling, and am feeling more reassured that I will get my fighting chance again. I really should give them more credit. All of the OB's I have met have been big proponents of VBAC births and giving a woman her best chance at having one. I really appreciated my chat today with Dr. Dowling. She really seemed to understand my feelings toward wanting a vaginal birth and how a repeat cesarian would not sit right unless I knew, again, I had given it my all and that there was no other way to get the baby out. (oh and BTW, Owen's positioning was thought to be ROP, {right occipital posterior} rotating to ROA{right occipital anterior}, basically meaning in normal person language that his head was torked right looking up, trying to rotate to face downward) The dictation from the OB who was my surgeon did not dictate what Owen's final positioning was when he was finally seen via the c-section....probably because they weren't expecting to find such a wedged-in baby and documenting his positioning at that time was not a priority!
She and I listened to the heart beat (in the 140's) and I told her I believed I had felt the baby's first movements. It's one of the most subtle things that comes and goes (didn't feel anything today or yesterday) so I can't be positive yet, but I'm pretty sure that is what I was feeling. I also decided I will get the flu shot this year. Right now I'm up 7 lbs (all gained in one month).
Owen is cuter than ever right now. He's just shy of 2 1/2. He has been singing the ABC's and some other children's songs. He hasn't been much of a singer thus far until lately. I'm excited about that too because he and I have signed up for a music class starting the end of this month. Last night he finished every second line's last word in his book, Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site. He's been taking me off guard with the things that he knows lately. Proof that kids are little sponges.
he's an incredible puzzler
and a crack up!
riding lions
special cupcake treat (this is a cupcake smile)
he loves kale smoothies!
a cold & sunny day at the park
His big boy bed is making it's debut soon. We still need to sand it and put it together. He flipped into his bed the other day, not making a very nice landing on his neck. He then proceeded to throw a leg over to attempt to get out. He doesn't do this regularly but it was enough to put the wheels in motion for introducing the big boy bed. That adventure to come!
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